the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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