Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
