ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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