Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
