I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
