TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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