I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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