sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
