i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
