Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize