Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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