You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
