I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
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It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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