how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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