dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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