hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
