I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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