Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
