white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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