Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Porn is love you can see.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
