he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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