The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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