i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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