I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
My vagina just clenched in fear
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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