so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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