Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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