Why are handjobs necessary in class?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
please don't ironically join a cult
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