One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
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