Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
