no you cant smoke seaweed
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
