Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
