So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
