somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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