Got a toothbrush?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
