You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
