I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
