In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize