Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
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Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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