Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
