Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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