we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
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My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I love you. Go after that dick
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he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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