well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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