is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
