This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
