If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize