Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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