Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
