I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
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