just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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