No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
