the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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