is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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