I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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