are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
