I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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