We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
