It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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