I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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