Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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