i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I have tasted many bathrooms
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize