forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
