i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
