Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
