i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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