I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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