It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
