yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
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