I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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