you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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