they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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