it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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