I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
