Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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